Stories from the Irish folk

So here i am again at work. SO alot has been going on. Well okay not in life but in my head. i am a little confused on where i need to go in life. I do like all my friends here and i woul die with out them but a part of me just feels liek i can't grow here. I've been livign here since i was 8 and 12 years is enoughI need new adventures and I feel like i need to start a life of my own. I want to be free from my parents grasp and i want hard ship, i want struggle but one day it will be worth it. My mom is trying to protect me as much as possible. She doesn't want me to leave. I think she feels that she needs to hold on to me as long as possible. BUt what can i do. I am only 20 and nobody will take you seriously at 20. not until you turn about 28. Thats when people start takign you seriously. it totally sucks. SO i guess I just have to suck it up and live in this town for 2 more years. anwyways, my life has kinda been boring. Which menas nothgin has changed since 12 years ago when i moved here. lol . but basically i have been watching alot of the 10th kingdom. since it takes me about 3 to 4 days to finally finish it, when i get to the end, i just want to watch the beginning again. And i bought the cd and I am lovign the score. its and amazing score. And also i should be getting the book today. I think once i read the book about a billion y=times, then i will be over it. But i guess i am just going through one of my many movie obessions. I go throgh these phases of movies, I usually am obsessed with one more for a month or two and find out any info i can on it and then i move on and don't watch the movie again for several months. oh i am werid

I am sick. Gawd life sucks.

So this weekend was good. Friday i babysat and hat is the LAST time i am gonna do that. Kids are great but babysitting for is not worth it. Anyways, i got pai and just spent my hard earned money. what else is new. lol. Saturday i went with my mom to see the Pretige and that was effing good. Then i came home and watched Welcome to the Dollhouse. Sunday, me and Andrew had sushi and saw Running With Scissors. And i would tottaly see it again just to watch Gwenyth Paltrow in cornrows. Me and Andrew lauged for 10 minutes. SO my boss is offically gone. She left to another deptartment and i basically get to do whatever i want. It totally rocks! I mean i have done all my work, its just that i don't have really any work adn nobody is on ym ass b/c of it. I LOVE IT!!!!! anyways that was about it. Peace!

exactly

What a great weekend. Totally wonderful!

::scream::<------- that was me screaming. So today is Friday and i am soooooooooooooooo happy. thank god! So my best friend is coming into town so i am excited to see her and i am going to the Ren fair on Saturday then i am going shopping on Sunday with my mom. So its going to be a good weekend and i am stoked. that is all. Fin.

God i totally love that book. It truely is my favorite book in the world. I am so happy that i found it once again. I am done with my trashy romance novel phase. it will come back. i know that.

Is wonderful. Enough said.

So this weekend is one of the best weekends i have ever had. My best friend came into town so i got to see her and she brought her boyfriend, which is a great guy for her. So on Friday, we went to Chippendales and it was amazing. A whole bunch of half naked men makes me happy, even if they speak fag. So the bachelorette party was amazing and i got to see my entire gilbert family. So Saturday was fun too. Just hung out with Jason, Sarah's Bf. Then Sunday came. The big wedding. I looked really pretty and everyone else looked amazing. I cried alot. I walked in to see Krystyn and she was in her wedding dress getting ready and i started crying. During the cermony, i cried. During the first dance, i totally cried with Sarah, and during Sarah's speech a tear came out so it was a very nice emotionally happy day. So now i am here at work. I quit the sorority b/c well it didn't make me happy and i shouldn't put myself through that. So anyways, it was a fabulous weekend. Thanks for joining me in this latest addition.

Yeah, my stomach hurt. badly

So i am fine. There is something wrong with my jaw so yeah. Its funny, i don't look tired but i kinda feel tired, like i need 10 hours of non-stop sleep. I haven't had that in a while. SO i am coming home today and passing out. Fuck school. I don't want it anymnore. I had this weird dream that i was 30, married, and living in New York and it was all b/c i had left school early. It was weird. I don't rememebr why i was so happy but i was.

So another thing i would like to touch on is Friendship. Me and my friend, who shall remain nameless, had this three hour bitch fit and it was wonderful. We bicthed about all the things that are bothering us right now and i have never felt better. I was nice to just get it all out. I mean with others i have talked ot them but i could never let loose like i did with said friend. I am so lucky to have these wonderful people as my friends, namely Sarah, Taylor, Laura, Fabian, Andrew, Andrea, and others. It is sad when a friend decieves you but that's life. I am 20 now and must realize that most people are jerks. And i can be a big jerk sometimes but hey it happens. So it does hurt when you lose a good friend but you will have to get used to it. Liek i said, "that's life."
Thank you to all my friends and hang in there, soemday it will be better.

life sucks. end of story

sorry about the rwandom shit i am about to talk about.

- Hilary Duff seriously looks like a horse now.
- Those potstickers were disgusting
- oranges in the same syrup as grapefruit are always gonna taste like grapefruit, not oranges.

So here i am at work. Haven't talked much. I have been on vaca and school and work. It really sucks. But its not THAT bad. School is okay and work is just work. don't have anything to complain about. I am happy. execpt for all the homework but thats life i guess. I am 20 now and i don't feel any different execot that i have been alive for two decades. Scary. And i one year i will be 21. I have one more year left. OMG. And people keep on telling me to get a fake but i don't see the point. i mean i will only have it for one year and it will cost be 200 bucks. Yeah thats not gonna happen. So here i am in my life where i am almost a fullfledge adult. Yes i am an adult technically but not really until turn 21. well i will stop blabbing. Peace guys!

School have begun and its a train that cannot be stopped. Film theory gonna be great b/c of all the great movies we are watching. Also, i haven't written in a while and thought i should cath up. My trip on the cruise was excellent. Fell in lust. Ahhh. anyways, so i am starting a new lease on life. i want to be more organized and develop more leader ship skills. thats about it. I know its not exciting but i don't have alot of time on my hands. So now i have to go back to school for computers and philosophy. hurray.

Wow. eight hours and i am done... until a week from next tuesday. I seriously need this vacation. Well last night after my mom dropped me off, i drank some nyquil, played "pleasantville" and fell asleep on the couch. I woke up around 830ish and realized that sleeping on the counch isn't as comfortable as it used to and i climbed in bed. At 10ish Taylor banged on my door. It was fucking scary. i was in dead sleep and i literally leaped up in bed and told him i was alseep and that was that. so for about 10 minutes i was still awake trying to fall back asleep again. i actually thought about getting up. i sleep for a good three or so hours. But just as that thought was slipping throught my head, i fell asleep and i didn't wake back up until 7 the next morning. Now that was nice. i got about 12 to 13 hours of sleep. Unlike yesturday where i could baerly keep my eyes open, i am wide awake. So here i am at work again. it's 850 and i haven;t done anything yet. i probably won't until Lauren gets in here. I don't have any emails. So yead thats good. All i really need to do is make sure that before i leave, that my cubicle is clean and has no work left. Then i need to go home, do laundry, pack, and clean the house. I must clean that hous ebefore i leave. and also i need to clean my room. hopefully i can get this all doen by 8. oh well. i will be back since i am so bored. talking to sarah now.

So i go on vacation in two days. i can't believe it. I remember back in january thinking about it. i am excited and a little nervous at the same time. i just... don't want my mother interferring in my vacation. This is MY vacation and i desperatley need it. i mean i have been sleeping in late, feeling the urge not to go to class. I realized that my last "vacation" was Thanksgiving. Wow. i really do need a vacation. But i think more importantly that i have "lost" myself. I don't feel right like i am waiting for soemthing but it isn't coming. god only knows what it could be. all i really want to do right now is space out. i am dozing off just writing this. I won't perk up until 12 most likely. I think it oculd be because i got 4 hours of sleep. i need to get back on a healthy schedule. Thats why i am going home, packing( mostly), and taking nyquil so i can pass out until morning. sounds like a good plan eh? but i think i don't need sleep but i need "me" time. iget that but for only a short time. Like my me time has been twindled down to when i take a shower. My last purchase before i leave this state is books. I am definitly re-reading Natchez Flames. Hot book yes. And today work has been okay. i have had stuff to do and i till do but like always i dont' feel motivated to do it. i think its because i levae in 48 hours. god damn. And i am going ot disneyland wich is a plus. i can't wait. I hope it would just be me and ryan b/c i think we would have more fun. and plus i have wnated quality time with my brother alone for some time and i think this would be a perfect opporutnity. yes i know i sound like one of the brady bunch.lol. i go to lunch now. yippe skippy. most liekly going to watch robot chicken on you tube and fall asleep. i already know that thats what is going to happen.
ps- topher grace is a hottie

So school starts in three weeks. Cannot believe it. Trust me i am looking forward to it...for some reason. I am just doen with this summer and summe school. For me it doens't it even feel like summer. Summer is where i only work and tan and just do nothing. I just feel like my parents. Summer to then i just another season passing. well gotta run but i am just... busy and i can't wiat until my vacation.

Well I haven't written in sometime. I am okay. So i have come to the conclusion that i am not happy with my life right now. Now i am not depressed if all of you are thinking that but i... am just unhappy. I really just want to sleep all day and hang out with my friends at night. I think it may be that I am done with school. i believe i have even MORE school. Grad school. To become and editor i have to take grad school. How depressing. So I hate school just b/c I have to go and attend. i can't wait until my vacation. I will do nothing... execpt follow my family around and wallow. I need at least one day where i just do nothing. Absolutley nothing. I need that kind of day. I always have shit to do every day. and it drives me nuts.
So i am at work right now and it sucks. I am here till 430pm. God damn. I am gonna try to see if i can stay on the internet as long as i possibly can b/c i dont' have that much work and its way to early in the morning to have my brain doing heavy activity. Well thats about it

i am extremely figety right now. maybe its b/c i only have an hour and a half left. I leave at 2. Then i am going home and watching "In Good Company" the commentary. YES!! All i really want to do for the next hour is sit on the comp and look up random stuff. Oh also I had a dream about blood. I don't remember the context but i remember lots of blood. Maybe it will come to me later. Oh and topher grace was in it. lol weird.